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Moments of tenderness

BEAUTY DIRECTOR MIKKI TAYLOR ON LOVING GESTURES

Whenever I`m on a photo shoot, I often find myself telling our subjects that no gesture is too small when it comes to the art of taking a picture. The beauty of love is a lot like that--the smallest moves can go a major distance in our hearts. Sometimes, though, I find that we often forgo the simple pleasures at our fingertips, stretching to reach the big ones we think will most impress the one we love. That`s not hard to do in today`s low-touch, high-tech society, which places so much emphasis on megathrills and the next big thing. In fact, it`s quite easy. However, according to Cynthia Grace, Ph.D., a New York City clinical psychologist, we need to get back to basics and know that what really helps couples bond and stay connected comes down to how we treat each other when we`re together. Grace, who`s also president of Gotham`s Cynergy Day Spa, says enjoying sensual experiences together, where touch is key, is most important. In this month when love is celebrated, let`s give the supreme gift of love--ou rselves--to our men by way of pampering acts and heightened intimacy. Be prepared to be moved--I know I was. Like me, you`ll laugh, be held captive, and if you`re sentimental, tears may flow. But you won`t ever be the same. Here are five loving gestures that leave none of the senses unaffected. May these rituals become yours for keeps:

Take my hand To me, holding hands is about communicating tenderness. When this gesture takes place in water, it reaches another plane, a sweet experience my husband, Taylor, and I recently shared. To begin, fill a basin with warm water and add a few drops of an essential oil, like lavender (a calming scent). Slip in a bar of soap containing hydrating oils; submerge your hands and clasp them together. Close your eyes and take a moment not only to inhale the oil but also to appreciate the sensation of each other`s touch. Open your eyes, allow your hands to surface, work up a gentle lather, release the bar and slowly begin to massage each other`s hands. Let your fingers do the talking. Apply cupping strokes to the back of the hands, then rinse--and remember, no gesture is too small. Finish with a warm towel and long, loving strokes using Miss Marie`s Mt. Pleasant Farm Vanilla Deluxe Mango Butter Cream.

Look my way In the busyness of our day-to-day life, we often fail to take the time to just slow down and be with each other, let alone give that loving gaze that makes us feel so affirmed. Why not get cozy with this provocative experience by trying it this way? Take a moment to massage each other`s temples and earlobes. Add an aromatic product like Origins` Peace of Mind to the journey, and begin by massaging his temples in small circular motions with your fingertips, gazing directly into his eyes. Add a small circular motion to the earlobes, holding them between your thumb and forefinger. And remember, silence is golden--let your eyes be the great communicators.

Relax At Cynergy, Grace encourages couples to take time to play and explore by giving each other a foot massage and a pedicure, taking turns at defuzzing or administering a soothing facial. Sisters, I say let`s think of these at-home rituals as our time out with our man and schedule them as diligently as we would our hair appointments. It`s worth the gift of intimacy alone. Turn your facials into a playful experience, and remember to relax. Keep in mind that brothers won`t go along with this willingly if the product you use is overwhelming or messy, so keep it simple. I like Awake`s Skin Renovation Mask, a clear-gel facial that comes packaged in individual minicontainers that fit in the palm of your hand, making the application process quite easy.

Touch me Did you know that your lips are as well supplied with sensory nerves as are your fingers and palms? Now that you do, why not engage in a game of awareness with your love? Tracing each other`s lips with a soothing lip balm like Philosophy`s Kiss Me is a great way to start. Here`s where Taylor took the lead, teaching me how to do it properly. Using your ring finger (the most gentle of all), begin by slowly tracing his lower lip from corner to corner; repeat the same motion on top. Know that tasty kisses, while optional, are also highly recommended.

Come close To me, bathing is the most sensuous pampering experience of all, and taking a bath together is even more special. What`s key? Setting a scene where you`ll both be captivated. Essential to the experience are big, fluffy towels, music you both love, lighting that offers a glow and scents that move you to passion. I love tall pillar candles. A few rose petals strewn on the floor heighten my senses as well. Begin this ritual by drawing a warm bath. Add a scented oil, or for fun toss in an explosive fizz ball or bar, such as Lush`s Bubble Bar in Phoenix or Creamy Candy. One smells of cinnamon (mmm!), the other like taffy. Taking turns, light the pillars using fireplace matches--the gesture is quite grand and special--and then allow him to escort you, so to speak, into the water. To keep the cleansing experience sensual, try using Mythic Tribe`s Body Buffer, a loofah infused with organic cleansers, toners, essential oils and herbs, and touch each other with the sensitivity of new discovery. As you c omplete your ritual, pat dry and apply a light oil, like Fresh`s Rice Dry Oil Spray.

On the road to civil war

Catholic New Times , Nov 21, 2004 by Uri Avnery

Everybody in Israel is talking about the Next War. The most popular TV channel is running a whole series about it. Not another war with the Arabs. Not the nuclear threat from Iran. Not the ongoing bloody confrontation with the Palestinians. The talk is about the coming civil war. Only a few months ago, that would have sounded preposterous. Now, suddenly, is has become a possibility, and a very real one, not another blown-up media sensation. Not yet another of Sharon`s political manipulations. Not just a new blackmail attempt by the settlers. But the real thing on the ground.

They talk about it at cabinet meetings and in the Knesset, on TV talk shows, in editorials and the news pages. The Chief-of-Staff has publicly warned that the army may fall apart. One of the ministers says that the very existence of the State of Israel is in danger.

Quietly and not so quietly, the Shin Bet is taking precautions. The prison service has been ordered to prepare facilities for mass detentions. The army leadership is planning the call-up of 10,000 reserve soldiers.

It`s a very real threat.

On the face of it, it may seem to have appeared from nowhere. But whoever had eyes to see knew that it is going to happen, sooner or later. The seeds of the civil war were sown when the first settlement was put up in the occupied territories. At the time, I told the prime minister in the Knesset: "You are laying a landmine. Some day you will have to dismantle it. As a former soldier, let me warn you that the dismantling of landmines is a very unpleasant job." Since then, hundreds of mines have been laid.

Driven by religious cranks

The process was led by religious cranks. Their declared aim, as they never tire of repeating, is to drive all the Arabs out of the country that God promised us. And the land God promised us, as one of them reminded us on TV the other day, is not the "Palestine" of the British mandate, but the Promised Land, including Jordan, Lebanon and parts of Syria and Sinai. Quoting the Bible, another one declared that we have come to this country not only to inherit, but also to disinherit the others, to drive them out and take their place.

Since the then Minister of Defence, Shimon Peres, implanted the first settlement, Kedumim, in the middle of the Palestinian population on the West Bank, the settlements have spread like locusts. Every settlement has gradually stolen the lands and water of the neighbouring Palestinian villages, uprooted their trees, blocked their roads and built new roads, barred to Palestinians. Almost all the settlements have spawned satellite outposts on the nearby hills.

This is continuing at this very moment. After Sharon solemnly promised President Bush to dismantle some of the "outposts," dozens of new ones have sprung up. All the ministries are actively helping the outposts that were officially defined as "illegal." Not only is the army defending them, thereby putting its soldiers in harm`s way, but it is actually telling the "hill-boys" where to set up their outposts and secretly advising them how to go about it.

When we warned of the danger, we were told to relax. Only a small minority of the settlers are fanatical freaks. These are indeed crazy and will forcibly resist any attempt to remove them. But that will not be a big problem, because the vast majority of Israeli citizens detest them and consider them a sect of crackpots. Most of the settlers, we were told, are not fanatics. They went there because the government presented them with expensive villas, which they could not even dream about in Israel proper. They were looking for "quality of life." When the government tells them to move, they will take the compensation and move on.

That is, of course, a dangerous delusion. The good Laborites who were implanted by the Labor government on the West Bank and in the Gaza Strip now talk and behave like the worst followers of the late fascist rabbi Meir Kahane. Moreover, we were told, even the weirdos recognize Israeli democracy. Nobody will raise his hands against soldiers of the Israeli army. When the government and the Knesset decide to evacuate settlements, they will obey. They may raise a ruckus but at the end of the day they will give in.

But this disdain for the settlers is no less dangerous than the disdain for the Arabs. What had been hidden all the time is now becoming clear: the settlers don`t give a damn for democracy and the institutions of the state. Their hard core spells it out: when the resolutions of the Knesset contradict the Halakha (Jewish religious law), the Halakha has priority. After all, the Knesset is just a gang of corrupt politicians. And what value have the secular laws, copied from the Goyim (Gentiles), compared to the word of God, blessed be his name?

Many settlers do not yet say so openly and pretend to be insulted when such attitudes are attributed to them, but in fact they are dragged along by the hard core that has already thrown off all the masks. They challenge not only the policy of the government, but Israeli democracy as such. A state of law is subject to the will of the majority, which enacts the laws and amends them as necessary. The State of the Halakha is subject to the Torah, revealed once and for all on Mount Sinai and unchangeable. Only a very small number of eminent rabbis have the authority to interpret the Halakha. That is, of course, the opposite of democracy. In any other country, these people would be called fascists. The religious colouration makes no difference.

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